When the order of things matters A LOT (a.k.a. life with a rules-oriented toddler)

[aliki]

Asked Erika on Sunday what she wanted for breakfast, and she said oatmeal. She also said she had to help me make it.

So I stumble into the kitchen at 8 AM (when she woke me up), get a microwavable bowl, throw 1/4 cup of oatmeal in there that she passed to me, reached into the fridge, added some milk, then added some filtered water, and stuck it in the microwave.

Erika is shooting me a deadly glare mixed with utter horror. I'd imagine it'd be what my face would look like if I saw someone eating spiders (my worst fear) for breakfast who then expected me to try some.

The oatmeal cooks, the microwave beeps, I try to feed it to her and she will have none of it. 

Because I put the milk in first, then the water. And the way you're supposed to make oatmeal is put the oatmeal in first, then the water, then the milk, and then microwave it. So she refuses to eat the entire thing and acts like I just put the grossest meal in front of her, eewwww. 

This is just one example of countless events that happen in my life now that can result in Armageddon-level emotional meltdowns with a rules-oriented child.

- Whether you put the right shoe on her foot first, or the left.
- Whether you put your jacket on and then grab your purse, or the other way around.
- Whether you lock the car and then shut the car door, or shut the car door and then lock it.
- Whether you swipe your credit card and then bag the groceries, or the other way around.

The list goes on. All that happened in one day.

Comments

[breakableheart.livejournal.com]

My friend Erin has a very rigidly rule oriented child. She's been that way since she was very small, which was great when she was a 9 month old sitting quietly on the counter while we made cookies, but a little difficult when it's a 6 year old needing to get in the car in the right order or put the right shoes with certain socks or whatever she's being rigid about at that moment. You will find some solutions Erika can grasp! It might take time but you can work her through the process. She'll do great in school, right?

[aliki.livejournal.com]

From the feedback I get from her teachers, she's definitely the most rules-oriented in her class, so she'll pipe up: "we forgot to do the ABC song today!" or "We need to wash hands before eating!" if the teachers forget a step. However, with working with such a large class, if they don't put her shoes on the way she wants, she doesn't get a do-over because there's 12 kids in line behind you, sorry. So she does recognize, even if she doesn't understand, that there must be flexibility in her patterns of behavior.