What do SAHWs do?

[aliki]

Note: NOT stay-at-home-moms but rather stay-at-home-wives.

I think I posted a rant about this a few years ago, so I wont rehash how I feel that people, regardless of their gender, need to find something productive to do with their lives, something they feel passionate about, something that enriches their community. I cringe at the line: "well, my husband makes enough for us to live comfortably on one income" because is that what a job is to you? Shouldn't you feel excited to go to work? Aren't you disturbed that you haven't found something in your life that makes you wake up in the morning and just want to go out and do it? Don't you feel inadequate by being defined as simply "a wife"? Don't you want to volunteer with a non-profit organization, take up a hobby like photography, become a mother? JUST SAYING.

The whole "Real Housewives of Whatever Town" is the epitome of how lethargic (not sure that's even the right word to describe them) and pointless their lives are: endless days of facials, pedicures, shopping, and gossiping. Is that what a whole generation of girls envy and look forward to when they become SAHWs?

This workaholic actually went to work yesterday. (I defensively said to Brian: "Just for 30 minutes, and it was sort of on the way to the beach with the dog!").

Today, I started cooking the Sauerbraten in the crockpot. I got a pedicure. I walked the dog for an hour. I went to four different stores and bought six outfits for Peanut off the clearance racks for $10. I ironed Brian's work clothes. I watched hours of daytime TV.

I miss work. I really love teaching. I miss the students. I miss being productive.

I can't wait to be a mother.

My mom arrives from Taiwan on Monday night! (She'll be here for two months to help me and Peanut out.)

Comments

[antisocialite.livejournal.com]

Actually, a good number of the Real Housewives do have careers and full time jobs. Yes, they're also socialites and rich, so they spend a lot of time dressing up and going to parties, too, but the majority of them are not actually just housewives.

If I had the option of not working, I would take it, or work part-time at something I loved, if money was no issue (or volunteer, or nanny, or something). Since I have bills to pay, I'll stick with the drudge of the 9-5 (which, for now, I am okay with, I like my job/company now).

I'm not sure inadequate is fair - depending on this imaginary husband's job and its demands, maintaining the home and chores and cooking, etc could be a full-time job in itself. And some people are happy doing that! I could use a stay at home wife to do all that for me :)

[aliki.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, I don't really watch the show very religiously. I was watching the New York version the other day, and it seemed LuAnn (the Countess) and Jill both didn't work. Bethenny (the single girl) works as a chef? And Ramona has a job (but unclear what she does)?

How many hours in a day could household chores and cooking possibly take up in a day, and for how many days of the week? I've been off all week, and honestly, you don't do that much cleaning/cooking in a 40-hour work week!

[antisocialite.livejournal.com]

I (ashamedly) do. The Countess does charity things a lot. I don't know about her job - she just divorced The Count, so she'll probably have to do something. Bethenny is a personal chef. Jill owns and runs Zarin Fabrics with her husband. Ramona runs a jewelry company with her husband.

If I had a bigger house, it would require a lot more upkeep, for sure. A one-bedroom apartment, no, not a 40 hour job. But there's also laundry, grocery shopping, errands, bills, maintenance (if you own), all kinds of stuff I wish I had time for!

I'm just saying I don't really think it's fair to say someone else's choice should make them feel inadequate, if that IS the thing they're passionate about. There are still a lot of women out there that feel they should serve their husband and take care of him. You and I might not agree with that sentiment, but if it works for them (and they are, most importantly, happy and fulfilled in that life, then more power to them.

[aliki.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's because Brian and I have always worked two 40-hour/week jobs *and* still take care of household chores, the "free time" of 40 additional hours seems.... excessive?

What I mean is, Brian and I both work full-time jobs, and I still cook about 5 dinners a week, we do laundry, grocery shopping, errands, bills, and we still own a house (on top of our 2-bedroom apartment) so we have to do maintenance/repairs as landlords.

If they are passionate about cleaning/housekeeping, why not volunteer as an aide for the elderly? Or help at at a Veterans Hospital? Soup kitchen? The homeless shelter? They certainly could use volunteers who are passionate about such things. We'll have to agree to disagree on the subject, I suppose, because I just feel there should more purpose to anyone's life than serving and caring for a significant other; some aspect of giving back, charity, and volunteerism.

[dolphingirl.livejournal.com]

I agree with the last paragraph. The reason I'd never date a doctor is because all of the doctors I grew up around had a wife who did everything for them, since they generally didn't have time for anything but work. The wives did everything from taking care of the house (including yard work and repairs), to handling all of the household paperwork, making any phone calls that were needed, picking up dry cleaning and whatever random crap their husbands ever needed from the store, etc. Often they'd end up doing something work-related for the husband as well. Even without kids, that shit can take up your whole day. Generally the wife could have a career, but for the sake of their partnership they've decided it's more important to both of them that she takes care of all of those things.