What do SAHWs do?

[aliki]

Note: NOT stay-at-home-moms but rather stay-at-home-wives.

I think I posted a rant about this a few years ago, so I wont rehash how I feel that people, regardless of their gender, need to find something productive to do with their lives, something they feel passionate about, something that enriches their community. I cringe at the line: "well, my husband makes enough for us to live comfortably on one income" because is that what a job is to you? Shouldn't you feel excited to go to work? Aren't you disturbed that you haven't found something in your life that makes you wake up in the morning and just want to go out and do it? Don't you feel inadequate by being defined as simply "a wife"? Don't you want to volunteer with a non-profit organization, take up a hobby like photography, become a mother? JUST SAYING.

The whole "Real Housewives of Whatever Town" is the epitome of how lethargic (not sure that's even the right word to describe them) and pointless their lives are: endless days of facials, pedicures, shopping, and gossiping. Is that what a whole generation of girls envy and look forward to when they become SAHWs?

This workaholic actually went to work yesterday. (I defensively said to Brian: "Just for 30 minutes, and it was sort of on the way to the beach with the dog!").

Today, I started cooking the Sauerbraten in the crockpot. I got a pedicure. I walked the dog for an hour. I went to four different stores and bought six outfits for Peanut off the clearance racks for $10. I ironed Brian's work clothes. I watched hours of daytime TV.

I miss work. I really love teaching. I miss the students. I miss being productive.

I can't wait to be a mother.

My mom arrives from Taiwan on Monday night! (She'll be here for two months to help me and Peanut out.)

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/-the-other-side/]

How come you're not at work?

I think it would be okay to not work IF I had a plethora of friends who also didn't work and we could do stuff. But I would HAVE to volunteer. In fact, if I didn't work 50+ hours a week now I would so be volunteering. I love it.

Yay re: your mom coming. How long has it been since you've seen her?

[antisocialite.livejournal.com]

Actually, a good number of the Real Housewives do have careers and full time jobs. Yes, they're also socialites and rich, so they spend a lot of time dressing up and going to parties, too, but the majority of them are not actually just housewives.

If I had the option of not working, I would take it, or work part-time at something I loved, if money was no issue (or volunteer, or nanny, or something). Since I have bills to pay, I'll stick with the drudge of the 9-5 (which, for now, I am okay with, I like my job/company now).

I'm not sure inadequate is fair - depending on this imaginary husband's job and its demands, maintaining the home and chores and cooking, etc could be a full-time job in itself. And some people are happy doing that! I could use a stay at home wife to do all that for me :)

[krisnake.livejournal.com]

And that's why I worked until I went into labor! My sister started her maternity leave 2 weeks before she was due with her first and was bored silly for 3.5 weeks until she was induced. If I was having a difficult pregnancy with health problems or had a ton of stuff I needed to take care of before becoming a parent, I would have started my maternity leave earlier...maybe.

So I say, go into work if you want to! Be productive with things that you enjoy doing!

[calypso72]

I don't get people like that either. Or people who work their whole lives in jobs just for the money (and I don't mean people who have no choice but to work and support their families). I could never either do nothing nor could I work long in a job I wasn't passionate about.

I dreaded my maternity leave and could not wait to get back to work. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM.

[sparklndymnd.livejournal.com]

That's awesome that your mom is coming and is able to stay for so long. My mom will probably get to visit for 5 days max. :-( I, too, do not understand how anyone could be fulfilled by simply being a SAHW. If you don't have children, housekeeping shouldn't be that big a deal if you don't have a job. I start going stir crazy after 2 weeks.

[ashleykristin.livejournal.com]

My irritation comes when those people aren't productive even when they SHOULD be.
Case in point: I have a very sweet, but I think clueless at times, friend whom I met here on LJ. Here husband had a military job but then did not reenlist and they thought he could get a job out of the military and then he didnt...and they struggled and struggled and struggled and she still didn't get a job because supposedly the only jobs that she could get would be fast food or gas stations. I'm sorry, but at that point I would do anything I had to do to get through that time and support my family... But, then again, it wasn't me so I probably don't know the whole story. I would rather not be working now, but if I got a job in L&D...I would be in HEAVEN. Thinking about making a job for myself and becoming a midwife! :)

[whiterecluse.livejournal.com]

I am not a SAHW and I don't think I would be given the choice. During the few times in my life I've been unemployed for a while, I go insane with the housekeeping and cooking, and then get stir-crazy after a couple of weeks and end up taking on about a zillion art projects and library books and watching a zillion movies just to have stuff to do.
I think for me what I have now-- part-time at a job I like-- is the right balance. I have time to cook and craft without feeling rushed or out of balance. I don't make a huge salary or anything, but our combined income is more than enough to live on and we are happy besides.. :-)

[smittenbyu]

I think I enjoyed being SAHW for two months, when I first got here after marriage. I really needed that break then. And then I just got bored. Also adding to the fact that I didn't know anyone here locally.

Even while I was working in KL at times going out with friends for dinner used to feel a bit wasted time. call me weird but yeah.... the funny thing is I am turning out to be like my dad!! And to think how much I used to argue with him.... he is Mr. Workaholic King!

Anyhow, this is one thing that's sitting at the back of my mind. How I will handle being a SAHM. With all the excitement I haven't put much thought to it.

And the Real Housewives shows drive me crazy... they just seem so superficial. I tried watching one episode and am usually done after 5 minutes. But I guess whatever makes you happy!

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. I've been away from Livejournal for a great long time. Congrats!