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alikiDelayed December 31: Best moment of the month (
zhelana)
When we arrived at the cemetary and had the ceremonial rites, we were each given a flower (a red rose, her favorite) and a handful of dirt, to say our final goodbye. As I went forward and knelt by her grave, I started sobbing.
Hard, painful, heart-wrenching, soul-breaking tears that shook me. I buried my face in my hands, kneeling on the ground, and cried.
Then I felt a small hand-- like that of an angel-- on my back. And then small arms-- the arms of my 4-year old daughter Erika, I realized--- reaching around to hold me, as I wept the loss of my mother. She didn't offer any trivial words, she didn't say it was going to be okay, she just held me and refused to let go.
zhelana)When we arrived at the cemetary and had the ceremonial rites, we were each given a flower (a red rose, her favorite) and a handful of dirt, to say our final goodbye. As I went forward and knelt by her grave, I started sobbing.
Hard, painful, heart-wrenching, soul-breaking tears that shook me. I buried my face in my hands, kneeling on the ground, and cried.
Then I felt a small hand-- like that of an angel-- on my back. And then small arms-- the arms of my 4-year old daughter Erika, I realized--- reaching around to hold me, as I wept the loss of my mother. She didn't offer any trivial words, she didn't say it was going to be okay, she just held me and refused to let go.
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Date: 2015-01-07 04:23 pm (UTC)I'm imagining that right now you're still bracing yourself against a storm of emotion after losing your mum. I hope the storm eases off slowly, bit by bit. I can't imagine how one goes on without one's mother, but humans do it every day, so it must be possible. Just up there with life's hardest most gruelling experiences. I think of you every day.