Answer: 16 Days

[aliki]

That's the number of days left before I go back to work, something I haven't done since March 19, 2010. I feel rusty and awkward. It feels like a lifetime ago. I feel like a different person. Work suddenly doesn't seem that important to me anymore.

I know I will cry on September 1st. Erika turned four months old on August 10th, and the longest I've been apart from her is five hours, when I went to Linda's baby shower and she stayed home with Daddy. I thought of her with every breath I took. My chest ached to feel her against my body. I missed her silly lopsided smile, or the way her eyes crinkle into crescent moons when she laughs, or the way she snorts as she laughs when I pretend to eat her belly.


Erika on Aug 12, 2010.
(17 weeks old)

Two weekends ago, Erika was baptized on August 8th. Shockingly I didn't take a single photo that day-- I was too busy tending to Erika! I'm waiting for friends/family to send them to me. She was so beautiful and so well behaved.

Sometimes I forget how much she's grown till I see photos like this. She's the size of a toddler! (And actually, several strangers have rudely commented "your toddler doesn't walk yet?" Ummm, no, she's 4 months old.) But she's got wonderful head control and is a great supported sitter.

Comments

[krisnake.livejournal.com]

I don't think Erika could be more adorable. I get the opposite reactions with Malcolm because he is petite. When he was a babe, people always thought he was much younger.

What you are feeling is common. Going back to work can trigger PPMD for many moms, so be aware and ask Brian to pay attention to how you are acting and have him ask you often how you are feeling. Separation from your child can be very difficult so don't be afraid to make sure you have a solid support network in place.

[aliki.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the advice.

I guess people have to comment either way!