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Day 2 - How has your sex life evolved post-parenthood? (
alchemi)
It's non-existent? No, really. I think since Amelia was born in March of this year, we've had sex twice? I think a couple of things play a role:
1) As a mother of a newborn, I'm exhausted. I am in a cycle of feeding, burping, entertaining, changing diapers, and then having to feed her again. With returning to work full-time and Amelia refusing to take a bottle, she gets all her nutrition by nursing when we are together. Which yes, means I spend most of the night feeding Amelia. Only to wake and go to work. Only to come home, watch Erika, cook, clean, grade work, and go to bed, only to spend most of the night feeding Amelia.
2) We recently bought a house, that is under a lot of renovation. And now that we have more space, there is more cleaning to be done.
3) We have a lot more homemade meals than most American households, I think. On average, we eat home-prepared meals for 12 of the 14 lunches/dinners in a week. Breakfast is always at home, that goes without saying... so should it be 19 of 21 meals in a week? This means I'm either busy grocery shopping, preparing/cooking meals, or cleaning up the kitchen.
4) But most of all, I'm just not in the mood? I'm sure if someone was in the mood, reasons #1, #2, and #3 don't really matter-- The truth is, if you are interested in sex, you'll find the time to have sex! I know plenty of parents who have sex all the time, multiple times a day! I'm sure they do it on the way to pick up their kids from school, and after they go to bed, and while they are cleaning up the kitchen? (Who knows?) But I know when I'm breastfeeding, my libido is just gone. I have absolutely zero interest in sex.. It's not that I don't adore him or love him, or need to have him nearby... just the idea of sex is not appealing at all. And with breastfeeding come the estrogen hormone being at below normal levels, meaning vaginal dryness, and leaking breastmilk when stimulated, and all sort of other complications that make sex unappealing, sorry.
It's not even about cosleeping or sharing a room with the baby, because I know plenty of parents who do that and still have a great sex life (and manage to conceive siblings for their children, so I'm sure they aint lying about the sex). I'm just not into it right now!
alchemi)It's non-existent? No, really. I think since Amelia was born in March of this year, we've had sex twice? I think a couple of things play a role:
1) As a mother of a newborn, I'm exhausted. I am in a cycle of feeding, burping, entertaining, changing diapers, and then having to feed her again. With returning to work full-time and Amelia refusing to take a bottle, she gets all her nutrition by nursing when we are together. Which yes, means I spend most of the night feeding Amelia. Only to wake and go to work. Only to come home, watch Erika, cook, clean, grade work, and go to bed, only to spend most of the night feeding Amelia.
2) We recently bought a house, that is under a lot of renovation. And now that we have more space, there is more cleaning to be done.
3) We have a lot more homemade meals than most American households, I think. On average, we eat home-prepared meals for 12 of the 14 lunches/dinners in a week. Breakfast is always at home, that goes without saying... so should it be 19 of 21 meals in a week? This means I'm either busy grocery shopping, preparing/cooking meals, or cleaning up the kitchen.
4) But most of all, I'm just not in the mood? I'm sure if someone was in the mood, reasons #1, #2, and #3 don't really matter-- The truth is, if you are interested in sex, you'll find the time to have sex! I know plenty of parents who have sex all the time, multiple times a day! I'm sure they do it on the way to pick up their kids from school, and after they go to bed, and while they are cleaning up the kitchen? (Who knows?) But I know when I'm breastfeeding, my libido is just gone. I have absolutely zero interest in sex.. It's not that I don't adore him or love him, or need to have him nearby... just the idea of sex is not appealing at all. And with breastfeeding come the estrogen hormone being at below normal levels, meaning vaginal dryness, and leaking breastmilk when stimulated, and all sort of other complications that make sex unappealing, sorry.
It's not even about cosleeping or sharing a room with the baby, because I know plenty of parents who do that and still have a great sex life (and manage to conceive siblings for their children, so I'm sure they aint lying about the sex). I'm just not into it right now!
