And I'm Catholic!

"God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be tortured for eternity in hell. That sir, is not free will. It would be akin to a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave me, I will track you down and blow your brains out. When a man says this we call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment. When god says the same we call him "loving" and build churches in his honor."

-William C. Easttom II

fortune cookies

To me, it seems like fortune cookies always hold ambiguous promises for the future, with tales such as "you will conquer obstacles to achieve success", "all your hard work will soon pay off", and "your ideals are well within your reach". These are all true fortunes that I've garnered from my Chinese take-out meals.

We always laugh and add "in bed" to the end of each of these predictions. But this past time, Brian opened his cookie, looked at me, and then read it aloud. And I said "no way, you're making stuff up," but he handed it to me to read. And it said:

You and your wife will be happy in your life together